Moving On

First off, let me say that I’m not pregnant. I’ve been pregnant twice, but still without getting to full term. I’ve had one missed abortion and one bio. I feel like I’ve been through hell and 2016 was probably the worst year of my entire life.

I’ve decided to post this because not many people talk about missed abortion or how it affects them. My fiancee is of cause sad and super supportive, but I feel like it’s been harder for me to move on.
Seeing other pregnant women just reminded me of what I’d lost and how much I envied them – especially those close to me. It was tough. Everything made me so fucking sad. I got depressed. I got help, I went to counselling.

I feel like this event has taken up so much space in my head and my body physically, that I just can’t take it anymore. If I hadn’t had that missed abortion in September when I was 11 weeks, I would be full term this month. But I can’t think about what ifs and what could have beens. I have decided to move on. I’m not giving up, because I’m not a quitter. But for now, I have to think about something else, and let go of these terrible feelings to move on. We all deserve to be happy, and I know that one day I’ll give birth to a healthy and happy baby. Bless you all ❤